Thursday, May 24, 2012

Run, Matt, Run!!!

For those of you that know me personally, you know that I enjoy running. For those of you that somehow managed to stumble onto this blog while laying in your bed with your computer, checking your Facebook, now you know.

Yes it's no secret that I like to run. I've ran 5k's, 10k's, half marathons, and full marathons. All of them present a different challenge depending on how big of a runner you are. I ran my first marathon with my dad who is also a huge runner. He's ran more marathons than Kim Kardashian's had boyfriends.Yeah, he's that rad. I can remember the thoughts I had while running my first marathon. At the starting line everyone just stand around like cattle until we hear the gun go off for the race to begin. The miles of the course go something like this:

Moo! Mooo!! Moo!!!!

  • 1-3: Yay we're all running, yeah this is fun! Oh man, look at that guy peeing in the bushes! haha!
  • 4-7: Woohoo, this is still fun, I can feel my legs really getting a good workout in. 
  • 8-11: What the hell, I swear I already passed the 9 mile marker. I need to take a crap, where's the next port-a-potty. 
  • 12-15: Alright I got my second wind, I'm halfway through! I just had half a banana, that should be enough for me to get though the rest of this.
  • 16-20: .....Why....why did I decide to do this? My thighs....I..I think I can feel them bleeding....
  • 21-24: Holy crap I just saw that guy barf up his banana. Where am I again? I'm feeling a little delirious. Is that flying jars of peanut butter?
  • 25-26.2: I can feel it, I'm almost done! The end is approaching. I can't feel anything from the waist down. How am I still moving? 
  • Crossing the finish line: Oh man, I feel bad for whoever is still running. What's that you sat? I was the last person? Oh...well, no wonder no one is here.
"It may have taken me 95 years to finish but damnit, I finished!"
It didn't end quite like that, but the preceding portion is all pretty much true. Especially the thigh part....that was bad. The following days after the marathons were the worst. My legs hurt so bad and the inside of my thighs felt like someone took a cheese grater to them. I just can't emphasize how bad my thigh's hurt, alright? I was walking down stairways like a 8 1/2 month pregnant woman. I forgot to put sunscreen on so my face got burned and I looked like Gary Busey. Yeah, things sucked for a while. Did I mention that I also had phenomena the week before? I'm really not making that up, it's pure truth. 

Wonder how this guys' thighs felt afterwards.
Seems like after something like that you'd think I would never do another marathon again. Nope, I still run them even though they're hard and they suck. The one thing I forgot to mention that goes along with all the post-marathon-pain is that you gain a huge sense of accomplishment. That might not be true for everyone who runs a marathon but for the majority of those who do, I would say they feel the same way. It's a test of your endurance both physically and psychologically. I can see if you didn't train and you tried to do it, you'd probably crap out at the 3rd or 4th mile. However, If you've trained and you're prepared, then the whole thing is just psychological. Your brain tells you that it wants to stop because it's bored and not really being utilized. Okay that might not be totally accurate but it's probably part of it. What do we do to solve that problem? We try to distract it with music, books of tape, talking to a friend, or other weird little rituals people do during a race. 

Now that I've given you great examples of why it's so fun to run, get out there and chaff up your thighs! Oh before I forget, here's a picture of Mario Cat to get you motivated!


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